The Worst of the Best

When you do the same thing for too long, no matter how much you enjoy it, it’s easy to find yourself in a rut: in a job, in a relationship, in life.  I feel my wheels starting to spin.  I have far more difficulty overcoming the frustration of a canceled print job spitting out 60 pages two days later, hiding the embarrassment of forgetting a hymn on the screens on a Sunday morning, or seeing the bigger picture of mindless tasks.  I have gotten too comfortable in my place here in Belfast.  I am no longer striving for the same level of excellence I did when I first got here.  Starting off so strong was impossible to sustain forever.  So its time for a change, its time to challenge myself again, less going with the flow and more action on my part.  I have 6 months left to make a difference in the organizations I am involved in, to leave my fingerprint.

 At YAV orientation all the former YAVs talked about wanting to be the best YAV ever going into their YAV year and how that often blew up in their face.  They put too much pressure on themselves.  I did not have that mindset at orientation, I did want to make the most of my YAV year but I was not so foolish as to think I would ever come close to being the best YAV ever.  It wasn’t until I got here that I DID become that foolish and decided I WAS going to be the best YAV ever.  It’s not until now, half way through, I realize being the best YAV is absolutely not what is important.  My fingerprint is not to be the best ever, just the best I can be.  My fingerprint should be like the scouts motto for camping, “Leave the campsite better then when you found it,” mixed with the army motto “Be all you can be.”   I came into the year subconsciously with that mindset.  I became a YAV to do something worthwhile and useful to make a change in the world.  Time to stop spinning my wheels, find some traction, and move. 

The vow to do more the rest of my year and keep going with a strong drive is not the only vow I wish to make in this post.  I have talked to multiple individuals this week about my blog and have been inspired to do a blog series.  I realize I was terrible at blogging in the beginning of the year and as a result what I actually do day to day is not completely clear and most of my blogs are quite vague. To make up for this blog failure next week I plan to blog daily beginning on Sunday describing my typical week, different individuals I work with who have affected me, throwing in some amusing and touching anecdotes I have meant to share.  So tune in again soon for a week in the life of Christina, Crystal, the Yank Tammen’s life.